Marie-Hélène Budworth

So, this is the 34th day of my sabbatical.  So far I have managed to take a vacation, grades a few papers, present a paper at the First Annual Meeting of the Canadian Positive Psychological Association and prepare a few projects that are in the early stages of research.  With the exception of the vacation, it all feels like busy work.  I have yet to finish grading the papers and the other projects are really in the germination phase so it does not feel as though I have accomplished much to date, but I have learned a lot – both about myself and about how I work.  I thought I would take a moment to share some of my epiphanies.  These are both personal and professional so please forgive me for blurring the line.  I am finding it increasingly difficult to understand where one ends and the other begins (more on this in a later Blog post).  Here is what I have learned so far – and remember, I am only 34 days in so no life altering admissions yet, but there has been a little shaking under my feet. 

1.I am motivated by others.  The stuff that is taking priority is the stuff where I have partners on the project.  I either need to get others involved in my solo work or make the majority of my projects shared. 

2.I am most productive in a well air-conditioned coffee shop.  (NB: This could be due to the fact that our air conditioning was not working for most of June when it was close to 30C in Toronto).  As I said, this is an early one – not sure if it is the coffee, the noise, the people, or the cool relief. 

3.My kids will never be satisfied.  Period. That’s it for this one.

4.I will never feel adequate as a mother.  It’s this whole working mom thing. (Corollary of #3).   Obviously this is a big one, but really it is very freeing.  There are impossible standards out there.  I cannot meet them whether I spend the majority of my time at the university or at home. 

5.You can have too many notebooks on the go.  My creativity has decreased in exponential proportion relative to the number of Moleskin journals that I am using at any given time. 

6.You know how people always say “If I had a day to myself, I could get so much done.”  It’s a lie!  If you had a day to yourself, you would surf the net, people watch, and naval gaze.  Believe me.  I have said it and I have tried it. 

All right, so I admitted they were not deep revelations, but I am figuring things out.  This is a whole new world.  There is a need to learn how to be productive under new circumstances.  It will happen.  It has happened!  Some days I can barely stop myself from pushing things out and others I just drink lots of coffee and stare at this screen.  One last lesson I suppose… 7. Be patient, breath, and keep moving forward.